Nicole and Brett Woodruff: Bitter Sweet

My grandma, Stella Yvonne Barrett Bishop, passed away last week on 1/27/11. She had been suffering with a few different problems, mainly two forms of lymphoma. She passed in her sleep, which was exactly how she had wished she would. I got the call on Thursday morning when I was on my way to class from my dad. He was about to board a plane to LA for a week for business and luckily he was able to get the call before they left. It was a some what unexpected death, we knew she was sick but it did seem like she would pass so quickly. I saw her the Sunday before when Brett and I went with my dad to drop off dinner for my grandparents. She had a cold and she told us not to hug her so we wouldn't catch it, but I wish we did anyway because it was the last time we saw her. I had said something perverted to her to be funny, I don't remember what it was even but the last thing she said was for Brett to give me a spanking for what I said and she was laughing. My grandma was so funny, she loved to get reactions out of people and loved to laugh. I think I got my sense of humor from her. She was such a positive person, even when she was suffering she stayed positive and never complained about it. The day I heard she died I went down to see my grandpa and I started crying when I got there and I felt bad because I got all emotional when he had been holding it together, actually he held it together the whole time I was there. I think he was trying to stay positive because that is what my grandma would want. I think he had been processing this for a long time but I could tell he was sad. They were so close and he never left her side because he worried about her so much. They had a very strong relationship, one I hope mine will be like forever. They would hug and kiss and joke around all the time. They would flirt too! I thought it was so cute, they just had so much love between them.

The viewing was Monday and it was emotional for me. To see her body in the casket was an odd experience because I felt like it wasn't her, she is in heaven. I feel that she has gone on to the next part of her journey and her time her was complete. Thinking that way has helped me cope with her death but it's still a sad experience so matter how I look at it. She isn't suffering anymore and now she is running around up there pinching every one's butts (that is her trademark.) As hard as it is for everyone who loved her here on earth, she had parents and so many brothers, sisters, and friends who have passed on before her and now she can be with them and just wait for the rest of us to meet her. So it was bitter for me to see her go, but sweet for her to not suffer and be with her loved ones in heaven.

This was taken last Memorial day at the annual Bishop family picnic of my Grandpa and Grandma Bishop.

The funeral was really sweet and helped bring closure to me. There was another viewing before the service and at 11:00 the funeral started. We had a family prayer before the service and my uncle Matt said the prayer, then my aunt Charisse spoke, followed by uncle Matt, and then my dad last. All the grand kids got up and sang "Love is Spoken Here," it's a primary song that I thought was fitting to sing for her. The speeches were all sweet and funny. My grandma was so funny it's hard not to talk about all those good stories. They all mentioned how giving she was and how much she would bake for the neighbors. My dad spoke about how she had such a strong testimony of the church and her love of her family and my grandpa. He quoted someone who had said that grief is a byproduct of love and without caring for someone you wouldn't feel grief. I thought that was interesting because when you love someone you put out your heart to them, so the more you love you will feel more grief but it is still worth it, even though you know you will be hurt when they leave it far outweighs not loving them. My dad spoke about a lot of things but I found the most touching part of the funeral to be when he played a recording of my grandma speaking, (he has been recording his parent's history for the last couple of years then typing it up) and my dad had asked her to give her testimony and she said that she has a testimony of the Savior and how she knew the church was true. She said that to live by example is the best way to raise your children, because when they see you act a certain way they will remember it and learn by it and to teach them with love. She spoke about my grandpa and said that she loved him and chose him for his sense of humor and how he treats her. I don't remember everything that was said in the recording but to hear her voice again, at her funeral was a special thing for me. I felt that she was there, that she was telling us one last thing before she said goodbye. I really felt the spirit at the service, and it was very special to me.

After the service we drove to the cemetery on 700 E and 9000 S in Sandy where she was buried. The grandsons carried her to the plot and placed their flowers on the casket. It was emotional of course. Nessa kept saying, "No you can't put the casket in the ground," she is only 3 and she didn't understand what was going on. It was a sad moment. My dad dedicated the plot in blessing and then we said goodbye and went back to the church for a luncheon the Relief Society put on for the family. My grandpa was so tired by the end, I felt so bad for him. I am so thankful to have been born into the family I was. I am truly blessed because out of all the people in the world I got the best family I could ask for. My grandma was such a wonderful person, she never judged, she loved to laugh and she was such an optimistic funny person, I want to be like her. She was an amazing cook, an amazing pianist, and the nicest person, she loved to make friends and would talk to everybody. I will miss her a lot, it will be good when I can see her again...

On a happy note my brother, Corey, and Becca and Connor were able to come out for the funeral. Actually, all 31 grand kids and 31 great grand kids were able to be there. It was really nice to see my brother and his family since they live in Baltimore now and I haven't seen them since July last year. Corey and I hung out and drove up to the mountains to see them since he doesn't have them there and drove by his old apartment. Connor came along and was napping in the car seat. He is getting so big and cute. He is starting to talk and says, "Yeah" a lot and in a cute way. We went for frozen yogurt 2 days in a row like little piggies but it was worth it. They left Wed. morning but the good news is that they will be back in May and then we are going to visit them in the summer. The plus side to going out there (besides a vacation) is that Brett's brother, Justin, and his family live an hour away from Corey so we can see his family as well. We are so excited to go back east and see everything out there because I haven't been to DC or to Baltimore and there is so much to see and do. It will be nice to see where Corey lives and his school too!