Goodbye Hammie Hopkins...

Hopkins passed away on 12/28/10. This was one of the hardest hammie deaths I have gone through. He seemed to be getting better so I didn't expect him to die anymore, especially so suddenly. On Tues, when he died, I gave him his antibiotics in the morning before work and he seemed completely fine. When I got home from work I just thought he was sleeping because he was just lying in his bed like normal. I just did my normal routine with dinner, the gym just whatever until 9:30 when I went to pick him up and give him his antibiotics. When he didn't look up right I away I knew something was wrong. I could see him breathing but he wasn't waking up. I picked him up and he finally opened his eyes but just lied there, breathing shallow and resting. I started yelling for Brett to come downstairs because Hopkins was dying. It was so sad, I was crying and Brett hugged me. I took Hopkins up to bed with us because I didn't want him to be alone, I could tell he was going to die that night and wanted to be with him when it happened. For the first couple hours he just stayed in my hands sleeping and was really still. Around 11 I decided to go downstairs because I didn't want to keep Brett awake, I kept crying and I just wanted to be able to talk to Hopkins without disrupting Brett, he wouldn't have minded me being up there but Brett wakes up early and he needs his sleep.

When I went downstairs I stayed on the couch with Hoppy on my stomach and my hand around him. I texted Marie and she talked to me for awhile but then she fell asleep around midnight. From midnight to one was the hardest hour. His breathing became more and more labored and he became fidgety, not much because he basically layed there but compared to what he was doing a few hours before. He was curled up in a ball but the last little while his breathing became so hard for him, his whole body moved with every breath and his heart was beating so fast, I could feel it. I thought he died about 3 times before he actually did because his legs stretched out and he would uncurl but then his breathing would start up again. When he died around 1 AM he started to move and his little legs began to get stiff and cross. Then he uncurled so his little face was looking up at me and I said, "I'm so sorry." I could just feel this was it, he was going to pass away and of course I was bawling then his body stilled and I knew he was gone. It was really emotional for me, I was so sad he was gone but I was happy his suffering stopped and he was at peace.  I have had a really hard time with his passing away, more so than any of my other hamsters. I guess because I was with him  while he died, and because I thought he was getting better and because I had been trying to nurse him better for a few weeks now, I don't know but I had a really strong bond with Hoppy and I really loved him. He was a good hammie, when he passed away and he was looking up at me, I know his body was making him move but to me it was like he was saying goodbye and I miss him.



This was taken around 10:00 when he looked peaceful. I didn't have any pictures of him on my camera so although he was dying I wanted a picture of him. I miss the little guy :(